Getting back on track

Man its been a while since ive blogged and ive had a tone of stuff on my mind.
Its been exactly a week today since ive last blogged so there's a lot to offload of my chest.
So last week i went to my first proper AutCF bible study for the year. it took a while for the group to properly get back into it but it was really good. we read up on Galatians1:1-10. I lent from that study that we should be have our hearts ion the right place. for follow god at all times no matter what. to me it was really important as the last sentence spoke, do you choose to please god or man? i really reflected on that as ive recently been noticing that ive always been different. im weird and i don't really get along with the "crowd". i have my own way of doing things however since my teen years ive disregarded my ways and given into peer pressure to do what society and friends have been telling me to do. ive kinda not been my own person in a while and ive been doing things to impress them. but now as a Christian i should really focus myself towards god instead of people, because this is what it means to live a godly life. another thing from this study that spoke to me was when Paul had written if there is anyone spreading another gospel other than the one you've already accepted . let them be eternally condemned. and that includes angels!!! wow the word condemned is really powerful. but what does it really mean? a life in hell i guess but when you really sit down and think about it a life without god or not being in heaven in god in the afterlife. that would be hell. this passage also reminded me of Muslims. just as they accept the book oh Joseph smith as part of the bible however it its a new gospel all together if you do include that book. Christ Jesus is our Saviour and i wish that everyone could just know him and accept him. another thing that struck me that day was the attractiveness of Christian females. Sueanne my partner whom ive had a relationship with for 4 years spoke up at this bible study and was really into the word of god. she had vast amounts of knowledge on the subjects of Galatians as she had done some reading beforehand and for some reason this had really inspired me and attracted me towards her. normally this would cause the opposite effect but there is something attractive about knowing the word and knowing the lord that sets you aside from everyone else. just thought id like to share that with you.

ON weds i had a bible study with the engineering group. we did a psalm but i cant remember which one. David wrote about how people were telling him that he wasn't saved and that he was afraid. also that night he rested also symbolizing revitalization through the lord. i found it really interesting as he wrote men said he was not saved but he rebuked in the end saying salvation is of the lord. just reminded me once again, not to do things through myself but through the lord. also not to be afraid as in the psalm David prays for the lord to take control and it just reminded me of the lords rule power and sovereignty.

Thursday i had met up with Cara and heather from TSCF to meet about MSVA and to start a Christian group there. its new and we still kind of need direction as to where to go. in the end the girls wanted to make it more pure evangelical and have more out reach then to have foundation and structure such as bible studies for internal growth. i think a bit of both will not be so bad but i'm hoping when we do do bible studies i maybe able to play some leadership role. i was also asked to share my testimony within the group. i'm not sure how powerful it was but it was good to remind myself of my journey here so far for Christ. also i have a confession i have to make. while i was telling my testimony and listening and sharing i was staring at Cara. she had a low cut top and my eye could not help but wonder over to her breast. i regret its a sinful action i have done and feel like i should have been slapped by both Cara and Sueanne. its something i feel like i can share here with you lord and i hope that u forgive me for my sins.

clutch also then asked if i wanted to meet up with Colin after which i agreed to. he had told me so much of how much this man had given up to follow the lord on this journey so i had figured if it will light me on fire then there is no reason to deny him or not see him if i have the spare time. when i arrived i had recognized his face from orientation and though wow so this is him... again. we spoke of his day of how he had failed his driving test and how god has a plan for all of us. the main message i got from the talk with him was just to trust in god no matter what we do. don't do things on our own because that not gods way but to rely on him because he wants us to rely on him. it made me realize that sometimes i do try to do things myself when i should be trying to honoring god at all times and rely on him. he really woke me up with this meeting making realize nothing is in my control for god controls all. :) and knowing that im at peace with because i know god is righteous.

on friday i had been stuck at work and i had managed to sneek away the word today into my rides. it was a real encouragement for me to read and reflect upon what the word is tellign me and how it can relate it to everday events. it was really good to catch up on the few weeks i had missed out on reading the word for the day as i had been busy or often i had neglected reading the word with god. made me realize i should do it more. i had also had a great conversation with a co worker called chakan. her background is mormon but she doesn't follow it closely. to be frank she lives for herself and as i got know what she believes in i was also once reminded of the passage in Galatians 1:8. i was hoping to shower her that Jesus was all of mankind's salvation however she did not completely agree. however having the ability to talk and spread the word more did encourage me a lot more to be slightly more radical and speak out more.
later that night i had a friends 21st. his name is Stan and he is rather good friend of mine from university. we had drank that night and unfortunately i had drank a bit too much and would have probably set a bad example for the others. i also peer pressured him into drinking a mixture of alcohol's which did get him intoxicated rather fast and left him coma toasted in bed for a while. i now am reminded of the passage or verse that speaks do not get involved with idol slander drunkenness and adultery.

Saturday i woken with a hang over from my mistake of drinking far too much the night before. i regret it as drinking is not forbidden by god but what glory does it bring god if i am in a drunken state and i cannot control my tounge? my tounge is like a window to my soul as it speaks out the truth of who i am. if i am drunk then how may i control my thoughts rationally as to what i really believe?. that day i had spoken with a good friend called Mellisa. she had introduced me to Life church when i was stuck looking for a place to worship learn and grow more in god. we had spoke of manifestation and she had told me she had seen it before. it surprised me as to how common it was and how they overcame it through Jesus. it made me reflect as to how i felt at SLC when i was confronted with singing and prayer. was that the holy spirit working through me or was i manifesting? i wasn't sure. it did also let me reflect as to how powerful Jesus's and god the father's sovereignty is. its amazing. i ended up taking my book every young mans battle to my ride and learnt a lot from it even though i have only read 1/3 of the book. to reflect i want to be a man that lives an undivided life for Christ as in the book it spoke of a pasta living a divided life from his Christian life and man life. i don't want to be a pretender as thats not what will glorify god. doing his work will. also i had learnt that sex before marriage ruins a relationship between man and the lord as it makes it harder for men to connect with god as we are overcome with guilt and fear. we also feel undeserving because of it. when i reflect on this and i say its true to every point. sex is a pleasure given by god and so it should be embraced when we are united from 2-1. i also learnt that sex is just sex. it does not make it any more exciting in the marriage life if u continue to have sex before and also if you decided to have sex before then what great will it do you if that person is not the right person for you. you haven't glorified god in doing that. so it really did teach me a few things with my sexual temptation and being honest, it is something i struggle with a lot as its on my mind most the time. i did feel blessed though to have materials such as these that i could look upon and read and learn form as to how i could grow in Christ. its just awesome. i also had a 21st party later that night for Sophie and rah. my gods gifting i was blessed to have such an awesome camera and a great pair of eyes for capturing some good moments at this 21st. i had learnt about the difficulties the family had gone through while growing up and i hard learnt of Sophies amazing struggle and illness that she battles. its inspiring to see even though it all both the girls care deeply for each other and remain soo strong to the word of god. i wish i had such a relationship with the lord. they are a blessing to have been in my life.
anyways i will continue on tomorrow as it late. bye diary.

well im back now with some free time and even more to update on its been an extra week since then.
well that Friday night i had a 21st to go to. this was a freind from uni and i had known him fro a few years and i had initally gone there just to give him my greetings and allow my presences to be there. however i did let my gaurd drop and i did manage to encourgae my sellf to keep drinking.even to the point when i known the next drink would have put me over the top yet i still kept going. i even was encouraging my freind to drik his spiked drink which was mixed with almost every acoholoic drink in sight. honestly how did my actions that night reflect god.. .at all? it didnt and so i was challenged by my own actions in how i portray god in my life and how i bear witness to others.

at church i hard lernt of the story of jericho and joshua. what a heroic story. what i did learn from it was to always invole god in all my actions. also to listen to him as he has a plan for us and not to do everything from our own power as i liek to do most the time.

on monday as usual i helped set up milo monday and as usual it was great giving out to students from aut. i really hope one day im able to do this for other students accross other campuses. its just inpired me as to how much i really wanna do staffwork. that evening we had dinner at michael drake's. an very insightful chap who is part of the chaplincy at mit and also associate staff from tscf. at his palce we ate and drank(fizzy) and converesed. we read a bit from the bible and discussed how we could change mit to have more direction and more growth.
it was great as this was the first time this group had ever done anyhting like this at all.